Short

I feel like my recent blog posts have been short and not as interesting as others have been. Here's another one.

Yesterday evening I got home from Starbucks with my stomach somewhat settled but not completely. I was in a bit of a funk as well. Since most of my call-able friends were not available, I called my folks and spoke with them for awhile. That picked me up, and when I hung up with them, I got the idea to go see a movie. Ponyo had been playing at the Redlands theatre so I checked their website only to discover that it was no longer playing there. I had thought to try and find the movie elsewhere, but instead, I saw the trailer for Extract and thought that looked reasonably funny. When I saw that the ticket price was $11 to go right then, I decided to wait until this morning's matinees, which gave me an excuse to call Clayton and see if he wanted to go. It turned out he had already spoken with Ken about seeing this (or Halloween 2) so the three of us went today.

Extract was OK. I found it entertaining all the way through, but it's one of those movies you leave and immediately begin to forget. I tittered through the movie but didn't really laugh loudly except at one line late in the movie. It's one of those movies where your enjoyment comes from the characters, most of which are delightfully drawn here. I am a big fan of Jason Bateman after seeing him in Arrested Development and Hancock. He plays 'exasperated' well. Mila Kunis also shows that she is the real talent to emerge from That 70's Show. But, don't go to the movie expecting too much. It is engaging but offers no long-term rewards.

Home from the movie, I worked on my computer for a few minutes. Then, finding myself nodding off, I decided to take a nap. I had just undressed when there was a knock at the door. Charlotte and Selu were there, wanting to take my Sportage and drive it over to their repair guy. I wasn't wild about this idea at all. I went over a list of car issues that I had yet to inform them of— the rear passenger window not wanting to roll up, the spare rim being mounted, etc— and we added fluid to the radiator. They also wanted to pay for the car, which mollified me a bit. I wrote out a little document, signing and dating it— Charlotte did the same— explaining that the car was sold "as is" and so forth. By the time they left, I felt better about the whole thing. We agreed to meet again this coming Tuesday morning to finish everything at the DMV.

No longer sleepy, I hopped in my car a few minutes behind them and hoped to see where they had parked along the way to their mechanic. I knew most of their route, but I didn't see them anywhere.

And that is how I ended up at Starbucks.

My recent packing activity has got me more excited than ever to leave as soon as possible. I'm scheduled to take off three weeks from today, but if I can get out three or four days before then— or even a week before then— I'll be happier.

Back soon!

"15 times? Was it even 15 days?"— Jason Bateman in Extract

State Garbage, County Garbage

I feel completely off balance right now. As I blogged about last night, I had to set the alarm for 7:30 AM this morning. Everything was fine— I even got down to the DMV area early enough to stop at Starbucks and get a cup of real coffee. The unbalancing started when I then drove over to the DMV and discovered it to be closed today. Turns out it's closed every first, third, and fifth Friday of the month. Lucky me.

Just after arriving and parking to wait for Selu (not 'Celo', as reported previously), my friend Dale called to tell me that he'd read my blog and knew that the DMV was closed today. That was a pleasant surprise, and we spoke for a few minutes. Selu showed up pretty quickly, and we agreed to arrange a meet-up on Tuesday morning. (Monday is Labor Day.)

I went back home, but as I was wide awake, I decided to check out the County landfill. I threw some old clothes and magazines into some bags and loaded up my car. The landfill I went to is in Redlands, way out in San Timoteo Canyon. I followed the winding main road until I got to the smaller and twistier road to the landfill. After a few minutes I got to the gate and discovered a very pleasant County employee. He answered all my questions and charged me $13 to take my small load of trash in.

From the gate, you have to follow the road farther in. It twists its way up and down through the canyon and eventually becomes a hard-packed dirt road. I was still OK with this as I was only driving 15 miles an hour. But then, towards the end, the hard dirt road become a soft one as I climbed up onto the flat surface of the current dumping site. I felt certain that there were already layers of tamped trash below me. Once I was parked, it was very informal. I backed up close to some previously dumped trash, and a yellow-vested man told me to go ahead and dump my bags right there by my car. I did so and a few minutes later I was headed out again.

It was an easy enough process, but I'm not sure I want to take my car back there again. I may rent a U-Haul truck and clear my whole apartment out in one trip. The nice County employee informed me that most people bringing in U-Haul trucks full of trash are usually charged about $40 for dumping.

I ate when I got home and immediately fell asleep afterwards. I napped for a couple hours and awoke to the sensation of roasting in my bed. I had to get up. So here I am at my normal Starbucks now, groggy from poor sleep, with stomach knotted in discomfort. I was hoping a cold iced tea would focus me a bit, but nothing has happened yet.

Back soon.

"My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it."— Rodney Dangerfield

I Should Be Asleep Already!

It's a few minutes after 3 AM as I begin this. I am tired and sticky with dried sweat from the day. If this heat doesn't go away soon...

The good news is that the lien release document arrived today. It was sent by certified mail and rather than knock on my door, the carrier simply left the peach-colored pick-me-up card in my mailbox. I know this to be true because I saw the carrier just minutes before he hit our mailboxes, and I waited inside for him to pass before running out to do some errands. Despite his example of why people don't say nice things about the postal system, I was able to pick up the letter at the end of the day, after he'd returned it to the local station.

With that document in hand, I phoned Charlotte and Celo. We have made plans for me to meet Celo at the DMV tomorrow morning at 10 AM. With luck, by Noon I will have sold my car

And now for the lame part: Tonight I went out and looked at my old car and I cried a little. That car was such an identifiable extension of me for so long. It really does hurt to part with it.

My stress level has been really high still. I'm not getting as much done as fast as I'd like to because of the heat. Tonight I had a bit of a breakthrough, however, and got a lot moved down to my storage unit. (It looks like my storage unit, if packed well, will hold much more than I originally thought.) To relieve the stress, I've been going out late at night and driving. Mostly I just drive up and down the north end of town here with the AC on. The cool air and the movement calm me down. Once I get the plates and the updated proof of insurance— soon, I hope!— I'll probably drive around the city more. For now, I'm minimizing my risk of getting pulled over and getting hassled.

I have always been one to drive at night for relaxation. I remember when I had my old Escort I used to head up Waterman and drive up into the mountains. I would usually pull off the road at some point and just look out over the city and the valley. I'm sure if I tried to do that these days, I'd get arrested for some reason.

Even as recent as a few years ago, when my car still ran reasonably well, I would drive at night to relax myself. Frequently, if I came home somewhat early from a performance, I would pick an offramp and then drive around the area.

This enjoyment of night driving has been tempting me to make my cross-country trip at night. I'll probably stick to the day, however. Although the traffic is much better at night, I hope to be able to see things to keep me interested and alert during the day.

I continue to be delighted with my Kindle. I've certainly read enough on it! A few days ago, in my quest to find books by authors not available via Amazon, I discovered some torrent-able resources. Yesterday I downloaded an archive of 1000+ science fiction books. It's a real hodgepodge of books, and I'm probably only interested in 20% of them... but that's still 200+ 'free' books. (I say 'free' because no one is being kidded here.) I'm also currently downloading another archive that is 10 times as large as that science fiction archive. It has much, much more than science fiction in it. I'm not ready to swear that it has 10 times as many books, however. I suspect the books in this archive are primarily PDF files, which take up more room each than the text files I'd previously downloaded. Still, I expect it to be an impressive collection of books when it's finished arriving.

3:30 AM now. Guess I'd better get a few hours of sleep. Keep your fingers crossed for me that everything works out at the DMV.

"Men are superior to women. For one thing, they can urinate from a speeding car."— Will Durst

The First Laugh

Yesterday I drove out to Orange County to perform stand up comedy for the first time in two years. (It's actually been two years and four months.) It was a fun night.

I actually drove out in the afternoon. My ritual has always been to get to the vicinity of the show fairly early. This used to be because I would perform somewhere in OC after having worked during the day. It didn't make sense to go home first so I would drive over to the city where the show was and find some place to hang out. I've spent many hours strolling about the Barnes and Noble in the Huntington Beach mall before shows at Martini Blues!

Yesterday's show was in Aliso Viejo, an area about which I know nothing. I called my friend Pooka to see if she was home. She didn't answer her cell phone so I was rude and drove to her and Gary's house regardless. She wasn't home so I then dawdled a bit at a Starbucks down the street. When I returned, Pooka was in. I spent an hour or so catching up with her.

The show started at 8 PM, and I got there about 7:40. It was in a hotel/health resort called Renaissance ClubSport. There's a second facility up north in Walnut Creek and they're hotels for the fitness-minded. I told Bill, the show's booker and host, that, as a fat man, I'd never performed anywhere less comforting. There were skinny fit people everywhere.

I was familiar with one of the other comics in the line, a really funny guy named Mark Schumacher. If you're local to SoCal and get a chance to see him, he is a very comfortable and funny guy. I've worked with him before, and it's always a delight to see him perform. I knew no one else.

My own performance was less than desirable. By my estimate, I had about two minutes of decent material in an eight-minute set. I'd spent most of the late nights before the show writing and rehearsing for the show while pacing outside my apartment. That's probably a less than perfect rehearsal method! I hope to develop a better method when I get to NC.

The other comics were all over the map. A few were genuinely talented, some not so much. I'm grateful to my friend Tom and his girlfriend, Julie, for coming out to the show and then going out for a bite to eat with me afterwards. It was great sitting with them for a good while and chewing the fat. Again, if you're reading this and you know Tom, ask him about the Diamond Twins. Professionally, I don't feel that I can adequately describe them here...

While driving out there last night, an idea for a project hit me. I think I'll spend a few posts in the near future writing down some memories of San Bernardino as I prepare to leave. I've lived here since 1982. 27 years is a long time, and I have an odd assortment of memories. Before I begin, however, I want to start collecting some pictures of various places about town.

Back soon!

"Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke."— Steve Martin

The Heat Goes— Oh, You Get It Already

Sunday evening in Starbucks. I spent a few dollars this afternoon to buy car washing supplies and then I gave my new baby a bath. That would be the first time in 20+ years I've hand washed a car. It would have been easier to drive through an automated car wash, but my car is so small that I couldn't pass up the temptation to do it myself. It's nice to be able to wash the entire roof of the car without needing a stool— and without having to press myself against the wet car door.

Yesterday I spent the day with Pat and Lisa. The girls were at separate sleep-overs— all day even! It was a nice relaxing day in the comfort of their AC. (Today is the fourth day straight of temperatures about 105°.) We watched an old movie in the afternoon— Murder By Death— which still has the power to make one laugh. In the evening I drove us over to Victoria Gardens and we had a modest dinner at The Hat. I had a delicious pastrami burger and gravy fries. That's right, gravy fries— french fries with a brown gravy poured over them. The burger was great, the fries were so-so.

I started reading John D. McDonald's "Nightmare in Pink". This is the second of the Travis McGee novels. McGee is a self-described beach bum, living on a boat in Florida in the 1960's. If you've never read a McGee novel and you enjoy a good detective story, what are you waiting for? McDonald's prose is a joy to read and his grasp on McGee's voice is perfect. Hard-boiled, but not cliche, McGee solves his cases with persistence and bluntness. Like any good sympathetic yet shady character, he can call on violence when needed. What rounds these books out for me is the vision of old Florida. Widows in beach-front condos, dark bars, watered inlets under Spanish-moss draped trees— it's all there. And, like good books used to be, the books are long enough to enjoy for a few hours and short enough to leave you wanting more. Seriously, go read one now.

I'm hoping the temperature goes down this week so I can get more packing done during the days. It was just so hot this last week. I have approximately four weeks to go— 27 days if I meet my scheduled Saturday departure.

Back soon.

"The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm."— Travis McGee (John D. McDonald)