Downer

I'm afraid this is not going to be an uplifting post.

As I mentioned a few days ago, I met some friends this afternoon and we visited Leo's grave. If you never met Leo, you missed a helluva guy. He was the most irreverent person I ever met, and I miss his sense of humor.

Because I spent the first half of the day with a migraine, I met the group at the cemetery. I can count on one hand the number of times in my life that I've been to a cemetery, and if you filter that list to occasions I remember, there are a few fingers to spare. I just don't go much. The first time was only seven or eight years ago, when Lisa (of Lisa and Pat) decided to swing through Forest Lawn during a day outing. It was a pleasant day. We got out and walked around for awhile, enjoying the cemetery more as a park (with less Frisbee throwing). Lisa told us how she and her friends or family used to visit cemeteries as picnic spots. I suppose, with the right cemetery, that's a fun thing to do. It's nothing I ever thought of doing though.

A few years ago I had the opportunity to visit the Chicago area overnight, and I was able to have dinner with my Aunt and Uncle. In advance I asked if we could visit my maternal grandparents' graves. They both passed away in the 80's and I had never had the opportunity to visit their cemetery. In contrast to Forest Lawn, which is all green grass and sunshine, my granparents are buried in a much smaller cemetery. There are trees and fallen leaves and old cracked sidewalks. It is primarily a Lutheran cemetery and is very much more a cemetery than it is a park. Perhaps it was the time of day or the weather, but it also seemed more somber— maybe because of my grandparents' presence, both of whom I have nothing but the best memories of.

Today's visit was moving because it was the first time I ever visited a contemporary who had died. I was fine with it all, giving hugs to Mercy (Leo's Mom) and Laura and Alison. We cracked a few jokes. I was good right up until it was time to leave and Mercy had to say Goodbye to he son for the day. Her pain brought me to the edge of tears.

I plan on going to visit Leo again soon when I can "talk to him" on my own.

I am part of a remarkably healthy extended family. At the age of 46, I still have one grandmother left, and by all accounts she is very healthy. Until a few days ago, all of my aunts and uncles were still alive as well. I was informed tonight, however, that my Uncle David passed away this last week. He lived in Minnesota with my Aunt Mary and had been in rapidly deteriorating health for some time. Unfortunately, I only met him once and that was 30+ years ago. He was a professional artist, and I know that his life with my Aunt Mary was a happy one.

There, I told you this wouldn't be any fun.

"When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half."— Gracie Allen