Not Quite Together

Today was one of those days when the world did not come together for me. It's weird to describe, but there are days when my body seems overwhelmed by biology. I woke up early enough this morning, but I immediately found myself making repeated trips to the bathroom. Then, even though I had been fine upon awaking, after my third trip to the bathroom I was unable to keep my eyes open any longer. So, I flopped back into bed, awaking a couple hours later.

It's been downhill ever since. There has been a constant ball of dull ache in my stomach all day, and the trips to the bathroom have continued regularly throughout the day. In the late afternoon I planned to go to Starbucks, but once again the need to lay down overtook me. I was only in bed about 30 minutes, but when I arose I had passed beyond the good time to hop the bus. (About 6 PM the number 2 buses start running late. Normally they run every 20 minutes throughout the day, but yesterday I waited almost 40 minutes in the blazing sun. So, if I don't get to Starbucks earlier, then I end up catching the very last buses home at night, which means it takes me nearly an hour to get home as I have to wait a long time for each one.)

So, by 'overwhelmed by biology', I mean that when I have to make repeated trips to the bathroom in a given day, it seems to have a narcotic effect on me. I guess I should be grateful that I didn't have a headache or migraine today as well, as usually that accompanies the other two symptoms. Even now, however, though I haven't eaten much today, the ball of ache is still in my stomach. It's 3 AM, and I can't believe the day has passed already. I don't want to go to bed because I haven't done anything today, and yet I wish I could sleep off my stomach problems.

I know no one wants to read any of this, but I'm writing to myself here. Yes, I'm aware a few people do still read my posts, but I can't write if I imagine anyone is reading. In order to fully express myself, I have to pretend I'm alone here.

So, I've caught up on Lost, and now I face a dilemma when I sit down to eat. I started watching Lost because all my other shows were in repeats for the Summer. I figured I could catch up on episodes of Craig Ferguson's show after finishing with Lost, but I've since discovered that CBS only posts clips from the episodes now. That leaves me with nothing to watch. I started two different movies. The first was The Fountain, starring Hugh Jackman. Inside of 10 minutes, however, I thought it was atrociously pretentious and precocious so I shut it off. Then I started Stranger Than Fiction, which held my interest for 20 - 30 minutes while I was eating one night. However, I found I had no desire to continue watching it when subsequent meals came around. Yesterday, I thought I would check out some of the anime on Hulu and settled on Inyu Yasha. Unfortunately, it airs in subtitle episodes, which is normally fine by me, but when I'm eating I'm not always watching the screen. I hate missing dialogue because I looked away for a moment. So, that got shut off. That's when I remembered that I have all the Avatar: The Last Airbender episodes. I started that and am now 4 episodes in and enjoying it. It amazes me that an American production so well captured the feel of good anime.

Well, I'm going to try to get some sleep and hope that tomorrow turns out better.

Back soon!

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him."— Buddha